By: OPHELIA NIXON UKE
How many times have you felt as though you were inaccurately defined by the people around you, in ways that were not a true depiction as to who you are? Each time you make attempts on re-branding or redefining you, somehow you’ve found yourself right back at square one, wherein you are still trying to prove yourself to others? For a long time, I myself was stuck in a role for which I was thrust into involuntarily. Being able to fully and adequately express myself became so daunting to the point where it was easier to not care, than to continually try just to see myself fail again. In short, I was gradually losing myself in order to fit the ideals of others.
Yet, today I look back and ask the question, who was I back then that I thought I was losing, especially when I had no clue as to who I was. When you have no knowledge of who you are, then how can you be certain as to the person you’re supposed to be. Sometimes finding you means stepping away from everyone and everything we know in order to figure out the direction of our own life. Quite often, the very people or things that we are desperately fighting so hard to hang on to, is the very thing that is posing a threat to our self-worth, and purpose. There are blueprints that are intricately customized for us, however, many of us will try to make someone else’s journey our own, while we are left wondering why we continue to fail. The fact is, we cannot create miracles off of someone else’s blueprints, nor can we be our better selves if we are constantly trying to be who we’re not.
The question you must ask yourself is, “whose standards am I basing my successes, failures and life off of?” Why are you constantly seeking approval from others? Why are you always doubting yourself even in the midst of situations that are bound to work in your favor? What needs to be understood is, the more we stay focused on negative things, walking in ones purpose will yield fruitless efforts. Therefore, it is of great importance that we remove all things which introduces toxic behaviors and thought patterns. The more you focus on negative things, your reality will be that of complexities wherefore living a fulfilling and wholesome life will be beyond the bounds of possibility.
“With Confidence One’s Esteem Cannot Be Broken, And With A High Esteem One Can Empower A Nation”
Confident individuals exhibit no signs of feeling inferior in the midst of others, nor are they disinclined to accept responsibility for their emotions, doings or beliefs. When you choose to subject yourself to operate in a place of insecurity you are more likely to create excuses rather than stepping up and being bold enough to just be you with flaws and all. That is a mindset of scarcity.
Take this moment to be honest with yourself as to who you are, who you’ve pretended to be and who you truly want to become. The harm is not found in your unwillingness to be an open book for others, it’s found in your unwillingness to be true to you. You are your best critic, and your worst enemy, because it is impossible to make changes to what you are reluctant in acknowledging or confronting. It’s only by you investing in yourself that you will really start living. Then you will know exactly what it is that you are fighting for.
Don’t wait until everything in your life begins to fall apart before you decide its time for you to do something different, because not everyone is blessed to get a second chance, some only have that one moment in life to make something spectacular happen. What trips many of us up when we hear this, is that we believe it has to be some type of grandiose gesture in order to keep everyone talking for years. But, what is being missed is that it’s not everyone we are looking to impress. Seek only to impress oneself, because that is who our allegiance must always be to first and foremost.
Today, I need you to make a choice to walk in your power, wherein you are no longer relinquishing self-worth to keep a smile on someone else’s face, while you pretend to live just for the sake of keeping certain people in your corner that should have
been released a long time ago. Remember this, not everyone needs to have access to the new you or the new season God is prepping you to walk into, some doors require being shut permanently instead of us making it a temporary situation.